Goodbye Onsugar.

See you @ http://sedateparty.tumblr.com

♥

I've already broken Judes first cardinal rule. And that is to "Never allow yourself to feel ever. Feeling kills." Now, I have also broken rule #5. And that is to "Never get so close to someone you can't walk away at a moments notice, if you have to. When you have to."

But despite that, I have no regrets of breaking these two rules.

♥

I hope you will not feel obstructed or infuriated with what I have written in my earlier post.

In rememberance of my dear friend, I hope you'll understand.

I love you.

" Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I really need it."

Three more days to your first death anniversary.

362 days ago, as you lie in your bed all composed and silent, we were praying for your recovery, in hope that you'll one day come to and tell us that "Everything's alright."

You never did.

You left us, much earlier than we ever expected. No chance to say goodbye, no chance to see you one last time. We never blamed you for we have loved you, and still loving you now.

For now your soul is up there with God, and your body ten feet underground, I hope you know that we are all holding on to those little moments we have had with you.

We will always remember you.

For heaven needs a little bit of you as you have imparted the best memories with us. "For every ending starts a beautiful journey."

I'll miss you.

(1:23am)

I love you, I really do. I feel like I am in the top of the world when I am with you.

You make me feel that way, thank you.

But at times like this when I am at my lowest, you were the cause of it.

You make me feel this way, fuck you.

HOW MORE LONGER ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINGS THAT I AM NOT DOING/THINKING?! INTENTIONS THAT ARE NOT THERE INCLUDED. I HATE THE WAY YOU THINK. FUCK YOU.

PERIOD.

(12:35am)

It's a wonder how romantically maddening it had been a few months ago before I had all these convinced;
how much each word you said to me have so much more meaning and how close you are to my heart.

Now, few months later,  I constantly find myself waking up restless, slick and trapped in an unknown world after every night without you by my side. It feels as if every night without you is filled with dreams of all that would have been if things had not changed. But everything changed, right?

I love you so much, and right now I am at a loss for words.

--/

On a random note, I've been reading givesmehope.com for the last couple of days and I found it really touching and it had made me realise how beautiful life can be. ♥

Alrighty people, goodnight!

(7:51pm)

Life is short, so Baby, make every second count.

There are things we do, that we are not really allowed.
We can say anything, but we cannot say it loud.
But the end of the day, I'll take you home,
put you into bed, give you our nightly diamond kiss,
check your pulse and make sure that you are still breathing
so that the next day, you'll wake up, starting another wonderful day with me.

(5:21pm)

"Love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you."

Computers crash, relationships end, glass breaks, shoes wear off.
But all you have to do, is to breathe, reboot, restart.

Peace.

(4:50pm)

(Sync with my mind, before all these gets disconnected.)

(EDITED)

I've decided to backspace whatever was written here before because I think it sounds stupid :/

Bye.

(1:18am)

Because I know that I won't roam this place forever,
so just allow me to play now like normal teenages do.
When it's time to settle my life, I'd do so;
as well as when it's time to be serious.
So for now, please allow me to roam this place like noone else ever does.

Xoxo, Kels.